Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
