Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I enjoy the company of your penis
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
