I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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