um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
