don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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