i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
