I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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