omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
