He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
