i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You dont lie about slip and slides
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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