Welp...herpes.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
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I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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