I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
