I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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