and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
