If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
