Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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