capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
