Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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