I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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