nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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