i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize