haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
