Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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