actually, I'm a sock model
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I miss vodka workout Fridays
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
