well you can't waste a boner
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
