You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
