I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
