dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
