I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You're like the curious george of whores
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
