very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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