I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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