You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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