yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
