I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
