it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
