I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
