I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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