So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
