i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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