There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
