if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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