Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
