I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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