There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
