we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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