my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
