But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
