Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
