I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
