i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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