when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
