went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
