I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
