haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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