dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
