"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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