You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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