Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
