I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's shark week go big or go home
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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