Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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