I wish I could punch you in the face.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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