dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
